


you are the sea upon which i float

by rire



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, M/M, set in the future though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rire/pseuds/rire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It didn’t matter how cruel the world within the walls was. As long as Eren was there with him, it was beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are the sea upon which i float

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [you are the sea upon which i float/你是我漂浮之海](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057812) by [sherryeris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherryeris/pseuds/sherryeris)



> Title is from Green Eyes - Coldplay.

“We’re free,” Eren says, looking up at Levi, eyes shining.

Levi looks at him, and then back out at the ocean again. Sunlight gleams off the surface, creating various hues of blue and green. He decides that he can look out across the sea all he wants, but the water isn’t nearly as beautiful and as breathtaking as the colour of Eren’s eyes.

“It’s been a year since then, Corporal,” Eren sighs contentedly. Levi nods. He reaches a hand out to touch Eren’s face, but stops, knowing better.

“Do you regret it?” he asks.

“No,” Eren says, the corner of his lips quirking up in a sad smile. “I promised I’d kill all the titans. Every last one.”

 _Even yourself,_ Levi thinks.

“And look, isn’t the outside world beautiful?” Eren’s blissful voice rings loud and clear in Levi’s mind, as if he were actually there.

As if this wasn’t some goddamned figment of Levi’s imagination.

“It’s not beautiful if you didn’t get to see it.”

Levi’s voice cracks. He clenches his fist, the one that is not holding the urn. The ashes were all that was left of Eren when the fire in his eyes burned out.

The boy, the illusion next to him is fading away.

“You get to see the outside world though, Levi, and that’s what matters. You and Mikasa and Armin and everyone I love. That’s why I don’t regret anything.”

A tear rolls down Eren’s cheek.

He disappears.

“But I do,” Levi whispers to nobody in particular.

He regrets not being able to stop Eren.

He regrets not telling him, _it doesn’t matter that you’re a monster, because you’re human to me._

A cool breeze ruffles his hair, blowing it into his eyes. He thinks of Eren, with his perpetually messy, tousled hair, and the ache in his chest is palpable. He can’t breathe. If he could cry, he would, but he lost the ability to long ago. He lost the ability to cry, to smile, to feel, to love, his beating heart replaced by a gaping hole in his chest until Eren came along and filled it. Eren, the only one who could see through his façade, the only one who mattered, the only thing he held dear and vowed to protect with his life.

Eren is gone.

He would never get to kiss those lips again, never feel Eren’s warm fingers tangled in his own cold ones, never fall asleep with his head against Eren’s chest, listening to the reassuring _thumpthumpthump_ that proved they were alive and human. They would never get to do all the things Eren had dreamed of and listed one by one as they cuddled close together in the comfort of the bed—never get to sail across the sea, never get to sit on the shore and count the stars and watch the birds as they fly, fly, fly away.

Because it didn’t matter how cruel the world within the walls was. As long as Eren was there with him, it was beautiful.

Without him, it doesn’t matter that the walls have been demolished. It doesn’t matter that the titans have been obliterated. Because without Eren, Levi’s world is empty.

And he would trade the ocean a hundred times over to see the colour of Eren’s eyes one more time.

Standing shakily at the edge of the cliff, Levi takes a step forward, ashes in hand. He knows this is the one thing he won’t regret.

“I’m sorry, Eren,” he whispers. “I guess I’m just not as selfless as you are.”

The ocean embraces him with open arms.

He only hopes that Eren will do the same.


End file.
